yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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