she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
