Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
