My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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