Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
