They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
