Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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