No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.