i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.