So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.