i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.