Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.