We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality