And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
