i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
cat food counts as protein by the way
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
