going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
