Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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