I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
