party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
