So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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