There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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