It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The power of my boobs compel you
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
