What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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