Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
