I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
