Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
