ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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