even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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