I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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