I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
