the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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