why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Randomize
