It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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