Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
