My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
