Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
