One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
