At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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