there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
