Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
