Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He passed out mid-signature
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
