i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
