I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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