Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
