Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
