you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
