Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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