Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We need to rekindle our bromance
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
