Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize