It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sponge bath it is.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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