i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
