i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
