Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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