i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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