my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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