dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
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I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
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I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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