I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low