I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...