Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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