I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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