Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
