i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
