I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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