I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
