I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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