Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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