so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
