she woke up with a sticky ear
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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