I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
