That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
