alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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