i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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