She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
