Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I see more hoeing in ur future
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