More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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